Freaky Friday

This post is not for the faint of heart. It is long. I whine. Sorry dad, but I think that this is something to whine about and yes I would like some cheese to go with that whine. That being said,

LASCIATE OGNI SPERANZA, VOI CH'INTRATE

After about a week, I can laugh a little about Friday. The day just started out wrong. We were traveling to Logan, Utah for my grandfather's memorial service that started Saturday at 11am. We woke up at 3am (1am Logan, Utah Time - LUT) and got ready and drove to the airport for our 5:30 am (3:30 am LUT) flight. Because of the need to get the tickets somewhat last minute and searching for a reasonable deal, our travel plans literally had us going all over the US. Rochester - Philadelphia - San Diego - Salt Lake City - then a nice drive up to Logan. Just a side note, when we left Rochester it was a whopping 1-2 degrees. Really cold. It was great to see the palm trees in San Diego and quite depressing to leave them again just 50 minutes (and a tasty California Pizza Kitchen original BBQ Chicken Pizza) later.

After nearly an eternity (10 hours and 46 minutes total travel time according to Expedia.com) we arrived in Salt Lake City and went to pick up our bag. I remember thinking as we checked in that Friday morning was the first time I'd ever had to pay for a checked bag and wouldn't it be ironic if that would be the first time I'd lose my luggage while traveling. Thank you Alanis Morissette. So you have probably already guessed that our bag didn't arrive when we did. So after waiting about an hour in hopes that the bag (with all of our clothes for the memorial) would magically appear, I went to the Delta Baggage office and politely asked the nice lady what the $%@# had happened to my bag. She said that it hadn't made the connection in San Diego and that it would be put on the next flight and get to SLC by 4pm LUT. When she said this, it was about 3pm LUT. We were promised that the bag would be delivered to Lisa's sister's apartment in SLC by the time my sister picked us up to take us to Logan, at about 7pm LUT, blah blah blah (this is called foreshadowing, thank you Mr. Forsythe).

So Lisa's sister Jessie picked us up and took us to their apartment and we had fun seeing them and talking and playing with their daughter Penelope. I called the baggage claim area to make sure that my bag had made it in and was indeed shipped out as promised. Jimmy answered the phone (we became friends over the next 7 hours - more foreshadowing) and said that the lady we had been so lucky to speak with earlier had basically been lying through her teeth until her shift ended. At least, that was how it felt. He said that there was no way we would get our bag before we left for Logan, and that in fact the bag hadn't left San Diego for SLC yet. Great. We decided to make the most of our time and head to Cafe Rio (there is a distinct lack of Tex-Mex type food in the Rochester area, we constantly crave it). At this point in the story, please refer to my previous post, item 87. Near the end of munching my enchilada style pork burrito, a sick, sadly familiar feeling came over me as I tried desperately to wash down the latest bite. It wouldn't go down. I won't go into details, but I tried everything that I could to get the food out of my throat. For those of you that are wondering what I'm talking about, I have a esophageal stricture and my throat reacts like it is allergic to the food even though that it is not, causing it to clamp down. Shut off. Nothing goes down. Food Impaction.

So now we don't have our luggage, I can't swallow, and my grandfather's funeral is the next morning at 11am LUT. The throat thing has happened to me four other times and every other time, an endoscopy has been necessary to remove the food from my throat. The first time that this happened was quite the event that involved a male nurse throwing up and passing out while trying to pass a tube through my nose, down my throat and into my stomach. Not fun (thanks for being there Rose). I was really looking forward to the rest of the evening at this point. The only question was whether to go to the hospital in SLC or Logan. We opted to go to Logan because besides the constant heartburn feeling in my chest and not being able to swallow - anything - including saliva, I was basically fine.

Katie picks us up and off we go to Logan. The drive was nice (except for the not being able to swallow part) and it was good to talk with my sister. We got to the motel and we said our round of hello's before heading off to the hospital in Logan. At the hospital, the poor guy entering our info in the ER was having lots and lots of trouble typing in names and numbers. Maybe it was just late or maybe he was just new, but poor Ethan was struggling. I should mention at this point that Jimmy from Delta baggage was phoning me on a regular basis giving me updates. None of them good. It appears that the bag went off of the grid in Philadelphia and he had no idea where it was or what had happened to it. He also wasn't very positive about being able to locate it's whereabouts until it was scanned again. Yippee.

We are at last admitted to the ER and I am getting myself mentally ready for the IV (Please see item 2) and an endoscopy. I was glad that Lisa was there, as well as my mom. We were all laughing because by this point we had reached the punch drunk exhaustion stage, where movies like Dumb & Dumber become funny for normal, mature people (I think that it's funny all of the time). When the ER doctor came in, I tried my best to talk him into skipping all of the tests that are usually run and jump straight to the endoscopy, after all, we now know that I have more than a little experience in this department. Well it turns out that the doctor had some experience as well, probably more than mine, and didn't listen to me. He said he thought that they could relax my throat and force some water down to clear the impaction site (sounds important). However, a lack of endoscopy didn't save me from a needle. The medicine was given through an IV, but that was OK, I had already mentally prepared for it. What I hadn't prepared for, was after the nurse said, "You'll feel a little pinch," I felt some digging as well. Because it helps me to look away, I was looking at my support group as they watched the nurse search for a vein. Their facial expressions let me know that the pain I was feeling in my arm wasn't normal (in Italian, hanno fatto una smorfia) and that the nurse was struggling. Mercifully a vein was found and the blessed drug was administered to relax my throat. I was also given a nitroglycerin pill to open arteries. After about eight minutes, they had me drink two big glasses of water, my throat opened up like the Red Sea and the impacted food made it to the promised land. Hallelujah!

We checked out, with a copy of exactly what the doctor had done (minus the needle digging in my arm part) so that as future battles against my throat occur, I will be better armed for combat. Jimmy called and said that our long lost and most beloved bag had just arrived in San Diego. We were told that after spending the night in the beautiful San Diego weather, our bag would catch the earliest flight into SLC and they would deliver it to the front desk of the motel in Logan, but no way would it be in time for the service. On the way back to the motel we decided that our best bet would be to seek out the blessings of retail giant Wal-Mart and purchase new clothes and bathroom essentials for the memorial service. That way we wouldn't look or smell too funny, especially as I going to be singing with my siblings in front of everyone. Finally arriving back at the motel around 1am LUT (having been up for 24 hours at this point) our fateful day was ended and we crash landed into slumberville.

EPILOGUE:

In the end, it all turned out reasonably well. We got our luggage on Sunday morning at 9am LUT and we discovered a better treatment for my weird throat. It was also great to see family and be together. It was the first time since July 2005 that the entire Packer family was all in one place. I'll post some pics of us all later. Thanks for reading.