I've decided that I live in a parallel dimension that looks like ours, but does not function like it is supposed to. Since becoming a foster parent, I've learned lots about life, from which I had previously been sheltered. PFC (Pre Foster Care) everything worked properly. People did what they said they would. The law was on my side. The world made sense. I've now entered one of Calvin's opposite zones, where all is not as it appears.
AFC (no this is not football related, surprisingly enough, AFC = After Foster Care), I think I find myself like the above cartoon. If only my problems could be solved thanks to a 1-hour photo developer. It doesn't matter what kind of a parent bio-mom is, she just has to meet minimum requirements. Government funded housing. Food stamps. Public Assistance. Quick disclaimer. I'm not knocking any of these programs, because there is a need for them. That being said, I think they are being abused left and right and there is a lot of work that needs to be done with the welfare system of this country, but that is a different discussion. It is my thought that bio-mom should be able to take care of herself before being asked to take care of someone else, especially a little someone else. In this, our judicial system (and overall our government) disagree. In their mind, they can take care of someone who is then able to take care of someone else. They obviously don't know who Captain Moroni is, or what his thoughts are on the matter.
The other beef I have is that as much as we were told that doing Foster Care is all about the children and helping them, they fed us a line of male cow manure. We are really the only advocates for little fat, and we have the power of maybe a well aimed burp (or possibly even some good old Dad, early morning, going antelope hunting, windows rolled up because of the cold, onion....you get the idea). Everyone else is about the process and meeting mom's needs. Under the law, the child has no rights, as it is assumed that the best interests of the child will be looked after by the parents. In the ideal world, I would agree with that statement. Last time I checked, we weren't living in the ideal world. Don't get me wrong, mom is worthy of help, everyone is. But at what point do you continue to help and push for mom's rights even though it hurts someone else's? I recognize that that is a rather difficult line to draw in the sand and am fairly biased right now.
I've reached the conclusion that my parents were right all those years ago when I would throw a tantrum at something and decide that it wasn't fair. Their response? Life isn't fair. Sorry to burst your bubble if you didn't know that already. Maybe I should have put up a little spoiler alert for those of you still reading and thinking that life turns out exactly how you want it to. oops.
Not to leave you all with the impression that I'm so far down in the dumps that I can't see the good things around me; I do have a wonderful family...that I don't get to see because I'm still working all day everyday. For those of you saying I should be grateful to have a job, I am, I just wish that since they are expecting me to work twice as much, they should pay me twice as much. That would be an ideal world.